Dear World

Please Kill Me,

Greetings and happy, {Insert Future Here}- how goes it? Should the typhoons of Nebula have thoroughly washed over you – then HAZAH! The LSD that I’ve slipped into your morning coffee has taken effect. You should all now be primped and primed for more ramblings from a guy, who should be wearing a straitjacket, while knee-deep in foil hats, (-howling sensually at the moon #TooMuchCoffee #SoSoGood).

Anyway, for those of you accustomed to my shenanigans, you’ve seen the title, (and have likely/wisely run for the hills #StillOnAcid). But, for you newer awesome’s – every once in a while, I get a nag in my sack, (#YesTHATSack), to drop a list of useful tidbits, that don’t necessarily fit into the mold of my daily jargon. They are irreverent,  psychotic (thus the title), and I’ve been told they’re funny, (but I MEAN EVERY WORD! #SoSerious)-

*opens eyes wide*

*get’s bug in eye*

*punches self in brow*

*keeps staring to maintain coolness*

-Or not. In either case, remember to like, share, comment, (fondle gently?), and most of all ENJOY!

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So You Wanna Chase a Dream?:

10 To-Do’s From a Sociopath

1.) Commit – Oh, how they all start the same. That’s right my pretties. If you’ve got a goal/dream (/sexual partner), that you just can’t seem to get out of your mind, and into fruition – the chances are- that you haven’t done the proper footwork to begin properly attaining the hope in question.

Simply put – *Jedi voice*, you lack commitment young padawan. No matter what it is that you’re going after, the fact that you haven’t go it yet, means that there’s probably a level of difficulty to it. (Am I right? Of COURSE I AM!!! I AM BLOGGER HEAR ME ROAR! #Grrr.) 

Because of this, if you even want to begin making progress you must make a promise to yourself that you will do WHATEVER it takes to achieve your dreams. Write it down, find someone to hold you accountable, (get a Mike Tyson tattoo of your goal) – whatever it takes to get you up and moving. If you can’t do that, then you may as well find another dream. Then again, if you truly couldn’t, you would have stopped reading this already.

2.) Plan – Okay, you ‘ve committed yourself. Now, you’re ready to start. (WHAT!!!???) – Yes, my dear parentheticals. The commitment will only take you but so far. Think of that person, (that we all know), that constantly talks about writing a novel traveling the world, (or finding a new way to eat with their rectum).

Sure, they’ve, “committed”, to the idea, and they talk a good game. But without taking the steps to back up all that jabber, they’re just another A-hole, (dropping hypothetical crap in a literal toilet. #ThatShitDon’tFlush). So, have a plan, or course of action, and write it down. Make sure it supports and enforces the path you’ve chosen. Never go in blind.

3.) Study – Yea, yea… I know. But, before you start all of your whining and groaning, just know that I wouldn’t include this if it weren’t necessary, (#OrWouldI? #NoIWouldn’t #Maybe). 

On a serious note – if you’re going to chase your dream, that means that you plan on being exceptional. In order to do so, that means that you intend on bringing something to the table, (in whatever way), that is either currently lacking, or non-existent. The only way to build the future is to know the past that led to it.

Drop all your preconceptions, and take the stance of assuming that you’re not the “god-given prodigy”. Reality checks suck, but -at worst you’re not #TheGreatOne and you can become #AGreatOne. At best, you are, and can (at least consider), picking up a book any damn way. Besides, Google exists. USE IT!!! It’s 2017, ignorance is no longer a valid excuse.

4.) Facility – So, you’ve done all of the heavy-lifting and it feels pretty good right? (WRONG!!!)- *bane voice*, “The heavy lifting has just begun, Master Wayne”.

Now it’s time to build your metaphorical cacoon, (or, your real one – if your dream is to be a butterfly). This place will be your construction zone, your testing ground, (your port-a-potty at a carnival), this is the place that YOU GET SHIT DONE!

Whatever it is, that you are chasing will require some major restructuring, working, practice, and effort. Given that we live a civilized society, (#NotForLong)- this means that we must find/create, and protect an area to call our own -where we get all the bruises and beatings that will mold us into the person that we need to be to successfully chase and achieve our dreams.

This place will be your asylum, your home -away from home, (the place you run to when the bullies chase you?). I’ll say this again, (for the hard of hearing) – “FIND THIS PLACE! PROTECT THIS PLACE!”

5.) Action – Alright kids we’re here. This is crunch time. This is the moment that you’ve been waiting for. The first step of the rest of your life…”Let’s see it!”,

………………(*patiently awaits reality to crash upon your skull*)………….. *CRASH!!!*…. 

There it is. I didn’t want to spoil that for you.

The truth is, that no matter how much we prepare, we are -for the most part- never where we want to be at first. We may not best strong enough, fast enough, patient enough, (Slim Shady enough?) – to meet our initial expectations. But, let me be the one to tell you, that it’s okay.

Remember all of that preparing that you, (should’ve) done? That’s there to catch you when you inevitably fall flat on your face. Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us. The difference between those who succeed and those who do not, however, is what they fall on. *It’s never failure, if you fall on foundation, it’s always failure if you never build one.* 

Step on your foundation, improve your approach, and try again.

 Speaking of things to fall back on,

6.) Community – It’s always good to put yourself around some people, who not only get what you’re trying to do, but can also provide you a multitude of ways to do it, (many of which may suck but, whatever #AFriend’sAFriend).

Mingle with people who can push and motivate you, and, (assuming that they’re not your nemesis), that you can also push and motivate. Having company on the road to your dreams is always a bonus. Not only that but, (depending on what it is you’re chasing), it can help prevent some unhealthy habits from developing, as well as keep you sane, (#KindOf).

While we’re on the topic of well-being,

7.) Health – Yea, I’m looking at you, fitness junkies, (with steroids on one bicep, and an all protein/boulder diet on the other, (and also everyone else. #PleaseDon’tBeatMeUp).

Honestly, no matter what you want, nor how bad you want it – it will all be for naught if you aren’t around to reap the benefits of all your hard work. So get your sleep, eat your meals, and take care of yourself. Patience is key, (unless of course your dream is to become more impatient. In which case, #ScrewHealth).

*Good things come from time and consistency. Not deteriorating shortcuts.*

Now, back to the fun stuff.

8.) Take Chances – This one is particularly for the creatively pursuant, (#ShoutOut). Never be afraid of taking chances with your work. Yea, we all get it, the old/popular way of doing things, is comfortable and safe -but never forget that your goal shouldn’t be to fit in with the rest. It should be to transcend the medium. That only comes with taking risks. The confidence to do so comes with self-esteem. Now that we’ve isolated the problem,

*clears throat*

– “You’re AWESOME!!!”-

Now you know. Get to believing in yourself! And get to creating something WONDERFUL!

9.) Spoil Losses – A wise man once told me that –  “losses are the precursor to future victory.” Revel in the lesson, not the loss itself. Spoil losses, by pushing forward, despite the pessimism that loss may attract.

(Pretty sure I nailed that. So I’m just gonna’ move on.)

And Finally,

10.) Embrace Victory – Never get caught up in the spiral shitstorm, that is the ever raising “bar of standards”. Set your goal, respect it, and acknowledge when you’ve achieved any progress in the direction of your dream.

*This world is filled with enough people that will try to undermine your success -there’s no need to be one of them.*

Embrace your victories, every single time. Being happy while in pursuit of your goals is where the dream comes true.

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Alright my dear friends, enemies, (lovers?), and everyone in between, that’s a wrap.

Thanks for hanging in there with me. I hope that you’ve enjoyed today’s post as much as I’ve enjoyed having you read it.

Now, if you don’t mind, I’ve got to go dunk both of my hands in ice. I’ll be back tomorrow, for something a third of this length. It’s been a pleasure, and as always, stay classy boys and girls.

Until Dreams Become Reality,

-Antwan Crump.