Dear World

Please Kill Me,

Hello, again my senselessly sentient stringers of tales. How goes it? Should the spacecraft have released you back into the wild, then CONGRATULATIONS! You’re just in time for another bout of ramble from your favorite sociopath, (we’ll talk about getting that probe out of your nether regions later).

Any whatever’s, it’s Wednesday now, which means that most of you have probably got yourselves a classic case of mid-week blues. Well….WAKE UP!!! We got some things to ponder. With that being said-

Cycles, (otherwise known as – a title that I’m too lazy to check if I’ve done before. Also, I guess it would have been a good nickname for Lance Armstrong, #PreTestiRemoval #WeWereAllThinkingIt).

Well, my fellow writers, I’m glad to say that the dark ages, (3 days), of my partial writer’s block, have finally come to an end, and I’m feeling as spritely and authorial as ever, (as I sit here on my #DoritoStained furniture. #IHopeJustDoritos).

That, of course, means that I’ve had quite the productive day of slinging verbal chaos, all over the page, (and also #AllOverYourFace). But, before I continue on my normal energy drink and coffee-fueled tangent -let’s go over what happened, (#ForTheWriterThatStillSuffers).

Here are the cliff notes:

-Binge Writing (and drinking)

-Binge Napping (between drinking)

-Slowed Progress (followed by immense sadness)-

-B*tching about it to you all (in a fit of stagnancy oriented rage. And #Vodka)

The cure, you ask? (You didn’t). Writing, you silly goose eggs.

That’s right folks. The old, “write through the block” technique worked; albeit, with the caveat that I was working under some sorely-needed structure, (as opposed to the ongoing ineptitude of my attention span).

*stares at lightbulb*

*ponders greater things*

-5 hours later-

*remembers he was supposed to be writing this post*

“Oh, hi there.”

Now, I suppose you’re wondering what any of this has to do with you. Well, my young writers of the night, I’ve returned from the caves of –almost– writer’s block, with some news from the underground.

Simply put,

*Momentum is key, even when it seems for naught.*

Sure, it seems counterproductive to force words from the boiling pot that is your mind, (and exile them to the keyboard), but, when not on a designated – or otherwise- premeditated break- it becomes necessary to nudge the muses a little bit, (straight off of the stagnated cliff, #FaiereDust).

Staring at a blank screen for hours is not only horribly unproductive, but it can also become a deteriorating factor, for both – your imagination and your ambition.

Liken it to a track runner who breaks his/her leg, and instead of training to regain his/her peak physique- simply stares at the track while other people run. That athlete will not only, never win again, but will never run again, (and likely grow to resent those who do).

*Do not waste precious time and energy, feeding the dragon of doubt.*

So if you find yourself in a creative slump or at an impasse, take the necessary time to straighten out your priorities, and return to writing as promptly as manageable.

*When you linger in hell, the devil will start to charge you rent.*

So work toward your goals, through the down times, (and they come in waves, so be prepared for that emotional roller coaster, #AllTallEnoughToRide) – and keep pushing. Do whatever you have to do to keep writing, and the muses will return to you, (likely aroused by your show of dedication, #YouSexyBeast).

Alright, team, that’s about all the space I feel like taking up on your screen today. I’ll see you all tomorrow for a pot roast, *post, written with keys, (and also yes, probably a pot roast).

Give Your Midweek Mayhem,

-Antwan Crump.