Dear World

Please Kill Me,

Greetings and happy Friday, my lively bunch of who’s-a-what’s-it’s, (are you even trying anymore?)- and welcome back to the Thunderdome. Should the heat-seekers have been properly calibrated – then the missiles should be heading straight for you…(BECAUSE YOU’RE ON FIRE!!).

*gets phonecall from advertisers*

*chastised for flirting with readers*

*continues post – subtly winking at you*

In any case, I’m glad you’re here for another round of authorial debauchery, from your favorite retinal sociopath (who does things like -talk to himself in parentheses).

So, sit up straight,

-and let’s begin,

Calling, (otherwise known as -a word whose dual meaning should be causing riots in the street. #DoubleAgent #WordWar).

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, (which probably comes as no surprise to my regulars)- about the idea of destiny.

Now, don’t worry, I’m not going to go on a whole tangent about the powers of mystical spaghetti men -who rise on the third day to bring peace to the fallen Jedi (#NoOnesSafe)– 

But, I do believe that at times forces beyond our control do push and pull on our esoteric puppet strings. Though feel free to believe otherwise. I just needed to cross that hurdle to get to this one.

Stay with me,

Of the many, many, (MANY!) things outside of our control; for some, one of the most blarringly obvious, is what our purpose is on this slowly roasting marble that we call earth.

The whole “what’s my purpose?” – of it all. It’s a bit asinine for me to say, (as are most of the things I say), but I believe that for the fortunate of us – there actually is an answer to that.

For the existentially weary – don’t fear- I’ll keep on task.

I believe that every individuals purpose, is to do the things that they can’t stop thinking about, (so long as they’re not hurting anyone).

It could be something simple and precise (like aiming, and successfully getting it into the toilet bowl), or something complex and drawn out, (like building aforementioned toilet bowl from the silk of ancient spiders).

My point is that, every calling is tailored to the individual, what they’re capable of accomplishing, what they’re willing to accomplish, (and whether or not they like and/or subscribe to my blog posts #SubliminalAdvertising).

*stares at you too long*

*winks again*

*ignores punitive phonecall*

Don’t get too caught up on what you’re “supposed” to be doing. Instead find the thing that you can’t stop thinking about -and pursue it with an unshakeable passion. From there, the rewards you seek -will find you.


Calling. In reality, the chances are you’ve already answered. Now’s your time to carry-on the metaphorical conversation.

And you can’t put that on hold.


Alright team, those are all the spells I’ve learned from #Hogwarts today. I’ll see you Monday for more on this little thing we call writing.

Enjoy Your Weekend,

-Antwan Crump.

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