Dear World

Please Kill Me,

Good evening my gang of literary miscreants. How’ve you been? I know that I’ve been a bit absent -as of late- (don’t you worry, I’m still here (Yes! Even while steadily breathing in the ambiguous air of Trump’s America)).

I’ll start by admitting that I’ve been otherwise preoccupied. I do apologize, to those of you who’ve grown accustomed to my daily jabberings. With that sullen apology -let’s get into the nook and crannies- shall we?

Back 2 Basics (otherwise known as the thing that my country has decided to emotionally appease).

*dramatically puts chain on his black wrist.*

*realizes, that’s not the “Great Again” , that they were referring to.*

*Happily straps the other end of the chain to his keyboard.*

Anyway, I’ve been working on a few projects simultaneously, (Yes #BecomingUtopia is one of them (I’m having a clearance issue, and working on it with the veracity of Melania Trump’s plastic surgeon….Okay, okay -I’ll stop the Trump jokes -for now).

With this newfound responsibility, I’ve had to take it easy on a few things. Unfortunately, my blog has been one of them. (Can you really blame me though? I don’t know what success looks like. So, in the interim, all I can do is pine and pander.) I’ll fill you all in on the details at a later date -but it just felt right to check in on you (sorry for the blueballs).

With this increased workload (and -I’m a writer- so, obviously the second job) – I’ve found that the most productive thing to do, is re-learn how to get Back 2 Basics. Now, clearly we all have different methods, teachings, fundamentals, (shoe sizes?) – but the origin of our skill is accessed using similar methods.

Sometimes, it’s important to meditate on who we were -before we began the laborious endeavor of life- that we call writing. No, not to be nostalgic – or anything of that ilk- but more so to remember: why we do it, what’s led us here, (and of course, to feel superior to the non-thinkers).

*receives a call from Human Resources*

(“What?!!”

“I can’t say that?!!!”

“Balls!!”)

Okay, please excuse my parentheticals -they’re meant to be humorous, (Are we seriously not allowed to call dumb people, dumb???…. This sucks! *angrily crosses arms* .)

In any case, I find that sometimes it helps to reminisce on our past naive reasoning -even if only to push our timidly detracting logic aside- thus allowing us to pursue our passions -(as long as you’re not the Zodiac killer #TedCruz). 

Regardless of your belief system, we can ALL agree, that we only get THIS moment -once. I believe in making it count. Without the basics, those results count for naught. If they can’t be practiced and followed by others- inevitably they will be forgotten and deemed, irrelevant. (I hope that wasn’t too contrived to grasp #I’mDumbDon’tListen). But seriously, our success paves the way for those to come – so, it’s important to do it properly. There is no absolute success, without a tinge of adherence to our fundamentals.

Let’s wrap this up, because I may have dug a digital hole, too deep to get out of with a dick joke-

*steps onto stage*

“Okay, so two dicks walk into a bar. One says what’s your name?

The other says, “Richard”.

The first guy says “Stop pulling my knob.”

– then they cum on each other.”

Wow, that was bad, (even for me).

Anyway, I hope that you’re all doing alright. I’ll be back at some point in the future to fill you in on the happenings of late. But for now, I’m going to indulge in my novice habits, (to appease the advanced gods of authorship).

Razzle Dazzle,

-Antwan Crump.

 

P.S. – Take a look at my new LifeHack article – 5 Ways to Beat Procrastination

*smoochies*