Dear World

Please Kill Me,

At this admittedly tough point in the timeline, I’ve been a writer for the better part of a decade. Honestly, that’s weird to say—despite having felt every euphoric, turgid, fantastic, and excruciating moment of this journey from the top of my head to the soles of my feet (…and throughout my illustrious sack). 

I’d be lying if I told you that this trip was all bubblegum and roses (…an odd understanding that many newbies find themselves enthralled with). But I’d also be lying if I told you it didn’t have its fun and often magical moments. 

I’ve found that the trick to not falling down the rabbit hole of erratic obsession, depression, or straight up delusion is to regulate expectations to damn near nil. Not pessimism, optimism, fatalism, nihilism, or any –ism really (#KillThemIsms) but rather a bare openness that allows for “adaptive response” (#AThing?)–essentially, it’s a state of being that’s akin to Schrödinger’s cat: at once accepting of failure and welcoming toward success. 

Honestly, it’s a weird place to be (…and an even harder psychological state to maintain, because you never know what to expect). Still, in my humble experience (…probably too much of it…) it’s the best way to guard your feelings without shutting down, celebrate your wins without getting carried away, and continue forth without losing your head over or under water. 

**You’d be SHOCKED by how many people snatch defeat from the jaws of victory and victory from the claws of defeat.** 

Now, like most things, this isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ solution, but it may help if you’re unsure of how to feel. Oddly, it’s a means of leveraging that uncertainty—transforming something destabilizing into a strength. A sword and soup-spoon, if you will. The writer’s emotional/psychological ‘spork’. 

(A swoon??? Sworn??? Spord??? Idk…)

Anyway, I’ve got to get back to the grind (forgot how much I liked ranting on here). Check out “Veal” if you haven’t (…or any of my other stuff, honestly) and do your best to stay alive. (#MeasleMayhem #ExplosiveDiarrhea).

Until Next Time,

—Antwan Crump

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Kwame Nyong’o is trapped between worlds…

In the streets of New York, he faces the harsh, material realities of a modern city. However, in his blood lies an ancient duty: a spiritual calling passed down through generations, marked by vivid visions, recurring dreams, and violent seizures. Under the demanding guidance of his eccentric Uncle Mosi, Kwame is trained to navigate his visions and wield the tools of his ancestral mantle… but legacy doesn’t pay the bills.

***SPOILERS***

Desperate to ease his family’s mounting financial and medical burdens, Kwame uses his gifts for profit—the consequences are swift and profound. As supernatural forces threaten to destroy his life, Kwame must expel his demons while paying the price for warping his soul.

From the author of Apostate, Butterflies, and The Suicide Pod, Veal explores the intersection of the modern and the ancient, weaving an intense and unforgettable narrative that’s sure to leave a scar. For fans of Black Mirror, urban fantasy, and psychological horror.