Dear World

Please Kill Me,

Hello, my blatant book bandits. Well, if you haven’t thought it yet – allow me to incept your next few thoughts- it’s that time of the week again, THE RECAP!!!!!!, (if you’re not as excited as I am -then clearly your sanity remains intact). It was a decent week – we laughed, we cried, third colloquial thing, (How many of you just googled the definition of  colloquial? Ha, Ha, Ha!). Don’t feel bad, I’m currently looking at the week in another tab- *French voice*  “These days, they blend together – like wine and cheese.” … Okay, you got me – I don’t know French, (Damn you BOARD OF EDUCATION!). Anyway, let’s get into it –

1.)  As a bunch of you know, I’ve been a busy body (literary wise – physically, it’s mostly ass to chair), that being said I’ve been dealing with a bit of the pressure that comes with increased output. For those interested in how to deal with that – may I smugly recommend Backwards and Tweak.

2.) I’m trying to get some questions from you lazy so and so’s, (I’m kidding, please don’t leave me). Thank you guys who’ve responded – You can hear my answers on The Writer’s Block Podcast <<<< over there. Why are you looking here? OVER THERE! Okay, and here too. I’ll be dedicating a podcast day to answering your questions, (since even I get tired of hearing myself think). If you’re interested in submitting your own questions to ask me – feel free to do so in the comment section below, I will answer them on the podcast. (I keep them anonymous, but if you want your name shouted out – just let me know).

3.) I’m having merchandise made up to give away, (because I love you guys <———This————> much. And that’s all. #Moderation). Currently, I’m thinking t-shirts and flash drives – but if you have other suggestions, (#flask) – just let me know and I will attempt to accommodate.

4.) BIG NEWS. I can’t tell you yet – BUT DAMN IT, IT NEEDED TO BE SAID!!!!!!

5.) Lastly, (but certainly not least.) The Writer’s Block Podcast. I know, I know – it’s not what you signed up for- but I’m the writer you NEED, not the writer you deserve (#The DarkKnight). Yes, ladies and gentlemen – my little passion project has taken on a life of its’ own, (one that I fear will one day break me). But, until then (before my alliteration and oration duke it out for my affection), enjoy this week’s podcast. This go around – I’m talking about fame (obviously not mine), money (also not mine), Chris Brown, Johnny Depp, veggie smoothies, and an amusement park for whores, (I’m also interrupted by a friend, so you can hear my ramblings disrespectfully undermined.#Sweet). As always comments, likes, and follows are more than appreciated.

Well, that was my week. How was yours? Have you been productive? Do I have to spank you? (Okay, the bourbon’s kicking in.) I’ll see you guys Monday for another romp (rump?). Have a great weekend, and (again) as always – don’t die.

From the edge of the summer,

-Antwan Crump.