Amalgam

Dear World

Please Kill Me,

Greetings and hello again my artistically anticipant antiheroes. It’s Monday once more, and again we start with the week- groggy, yet somehow as ready as we’ll be, for what I’ve dubbed, bullshit mountain (another few days of the cubically driven nightmare that is our current employment). Though I suppose that it keeps us fed and clothed – so we can’t hate it too much.

For those of you, that listened to the last installment of The Writers Block Podcast, you’re painfully aware of my recent ambition to write a novella (or short story, I’m not sure which it is yet). To be honest, I may have undersold aforementioned ambition.

Now, as it’s already EXTREMELY difficult to be absolutely original, I took some time to write down some plots, I’d like to see become commonplace that (though touched upon), have never necessarily been done. It was much akin to any joking conversation that most of us have had with a peer – in which you attempt to “one-up” each other’s absurdities.

It began slow, as always initially it presented promise – but beyond the seed of creativity- it was necessary to work at continuing the uniqueness of the subsequently spawned ideas.

After I literally wrote down things that crossed from absurd to Trump level-insane – I stopped. (It was becoming way too much like a Cronenberg/Kevin-Smith- esque sort of thing). I pondered the plots that I had. It wasn’t long before I realized that all of them had either been done or simply couldn’t be – at least not for the format that I was aiming for.

Potentially I was barking up the wrong tree. Even I’ve said to you all before that writing a completely original story, is a goal better left to inspiration – chasing such a thing could only lead to frustration and stagnancy. As we all know that imminently leads to writing an anti-story – in which you write exactly the opposite of what’s expected. And as I learned once more , that’s been done. (Besides, writing that way restricts way too many of the artistic liberties.) Instead, I decided to play with the structure.

The initial idea was sound enough. But then I thought, what if I play with the perspective? Boom! I was off and running. About ten pages in, yet another slap in the ass from sister muse. What if I combine the plot elements? Even I didn’t see that what would come next, would be one of the most fundamentally experimental pieces that I’d ever written.

Needless to say, I wrote until my skull was drained. Though I was proud of what I’ve written, I knew that fresh eyes would expose my true feelings about the work.

*Sidenote – Always know when you’re in too deep to properly judge the quality of your writing. 

So I took a day, to decide how far I was willing to go. Returning to the story- felt like reconnecting with a long lost family member. Though it had only been 24 hours, I was jubilant to return and continue. It’s still not done. But I’d be wrong not to bask in the pride I feel from the story’s progression.

My point – If you find yourself bored with the structure of what you’ve been writing or perhaps simply want to test your creative limits, play that game with yourself. See how far you can take some of your bat-shit crazy ideas, and amalgamate them with your (I’m hoping), various literary styles and strengths.

By throwing every version of your literary self into a particular project – you force those voices to converse with one another- and rest on a common ground – that’s a completely singular voice all on its’ own. Don’t over think it. Just type to your little hearts content. Never fear your insanity. Just place it in your mental toolbox -right next to grammar, and structure.

I look forward to the little monsters that you’ll create.

From a locked and padded room,

-Antwan Crump.

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