Dear World

Please Kill Me,

Greetings and happy Wednesday, my aphrodisiatic auteurs of authorship. How the hell are ya? Should the murky tides of Posieden have taken you– then you’re probably high and I’d love some of what you’ve taken #NoSupposatories #OkayMaybeJustOne. 

Well team, it’s been a long time coming (and a whole lot of promising) but…like a father who’s just realized your value (*cough* Trump *cough*), I’m back in full swing, as intended, (slightly pudgier?), and with the greatest gift that I could muster. That’s right folks…IT’S HERE!!!!!

RED MATTER: A COLLECTION OF THINGS >>>IS NOW ON SALE FOR 99¢!!!!!!

TELL YOUR KIDS!!! TELL YOUR WIFE!!!! TELL THE GODDAMN POPE!!!!! IT’S HERE!!!!!!

*sniffs a bump of white powder*

“WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Anyway,

Now that I’ve got that out of my system, let me tell you what’s inside (in case…you’re not entirely sure how the Amazon preview works).

In a similar vein to TOURMALINE (The Original Collection of Things.) Here we have an anthology of works exploring a singular literary theme. This time around–as opposed to the latter’s somber tone– we lighten things up a bit with my own interpretation of nihilism and ultimate costs of consequence.

I suppose…to sum it up in a sentence– This is a nuclear breakdown of Choice. (Don’t worry, there’s no sad religious kid this time…I mean… there is, but she’s like 20 and not a main character (#Feminism?))

So…”What’s inside?” You ask (you didn’t), I’ll be glad to share some tidbits.

As before, the stories are framed by meta works that link the fiction of the stories to the reality of creating them. They’re essentially the literary equivalent of exorcising the authorial spirits from my mind, (It’s a lot sexier than it sounds). Within these two pieces (The Sleeping Man & The Tinkerer) are: (to summarize without spoiling)

Truck Stop – Two men walk into a bar….it doesn’t end well.

Let’s Kill Harry Potter – Pretty sure that Daniel Radcliffe is up to something. That doesn’t make what happens anymore okay, though.

Walk of Shame –  Which is pretty self-explanatory, albeit, the sickest of the three so far.

RED MATTER – My tentpole story (and secret lovechild…Shh…) I think by now, you will have gotten your dollar’s worth. It’s the apocalypse…that’s all I’ll say. (IT’S SO FCUKING COOL THOUGH!!!!)

The One About Love – Uhm… Yea. I couldn’t even begin to ….I was really sad when I wrote this…Think #ThisIsUs meets #Dante’sInferno (I stand by it…. but, this may be the hardest one to swallow.)

Father – Which I kind of wrote on a whim. It’s massive popularity compelled me to include in the bunch. It’s a strong finish to a solid set of literary tales.

And, of Course (I know, I glossed over it, but still, this is AWESOME!!!)

The Tinkerer- If you love (or even like) anything about me, or this site–YOU WILL LOVE THIS PIECE!!! (#NuffSaid)

So, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!!!!!! RED MATTER!!!!!!! IT’S ONLY A $1!!!!!!! LOVE ME!!!!!

“Okay…calm down, buddy.”

*hyperventilates*

*grabs knees*

*kisses book*

Anyway, I’m sure that you’ll enjoy it. Feel free to share, like, comment, etc. It’s all extremely appreciated and I’ve even given you a shout out. Thanks in advance!!!!

Bloody Up Your Week,

–Antwan Crump.

Follow @I_AM_ANTWAN