Dear World

Please Kill Me,

Well, hello there strangers. Fancy seeing you here… Now, I know what you’re thinking — “Don’t you think that you can just disappear for days…NO CALLS! NO TEXTS!”…..Guys, Guys, and Girls (and In-Betweens? #Equality) calm down. I’ve returned, as promised — with news and other fanciful things.

Don’t believe me????

Feast your eyes!!!!!!

*throws smoke bomb*

*forgets to run*

*smoke fills room*

Uhmm… Hey, check this out, while I clean this crap up….

 

5 Ways to Beat Procrastination

Ever have a plan in the works that you just can’t seem to get excited about? Ever have a deadline lacking the “gusto” to get you going? Ever stare at a blank screen wondering what everyone else is up to? Then this post is for you. (And possibly a ploy, courtesy of the Matrix). 

In the advent of social media, 4K television, fidget-spinners, and let’s face it -YouTube (/HornPub) — it can be all too easy to play “Hide and Seek” (#Giggidy) with the tasks that we have at hand.

To many, life seems to be moving so fast that in order to keep up we’ve essentially forced ourselves to shelf our individual obligations in favor aimless digital wandering –to our own detriment. A huge part of the problem in today’s balancing act of life is our increasing inability to “disconnect” and tackle our goals forthright.

Assuming that you’re able to pull away from the screen (after reading this, of course) — here are 5 ways to beat procrastination.

Call Your Own Bluff (…Seriously)

A big part of what consumes our focus are the bottomless thoughts of the other, more entertaining things that we could be doing instead of what we are supposed to be engaged with. Whether it be exercising, starting that novel you’ve been thinking about, or perhaps even finally sending a message to that person that you have a crush on. As valid and enduring as these things may seem –chances are that they’re non-pressing issues that can be dealt with at a later time. The trick here is to call your own bluff.

Instead of wasting time daydreaming about the “better” things that you could be doing –do them. Indulge your procrastinative thoughts. Usually, the things that we think about doing to avoid what we should be doing are meaningless and relatively inconsequential. Make a deal with yourself that it’s either one or the other — and watch as those pointless thoughts dissolve. Once faced with the obvious selection of reality versus fantasy — your drive will take effect and your respective task should be easy to begin. In any case, should you choose latter, (with the distraction solved) you can –at that time– engage your initial responsibility.

 

Go For a Walk (Yes, you too! #YouCouldUseTheExercise #MuffinTop #MmmMuffins)

All too often we neglect the benefits of taking a walk, getting out there, (having a reason to shower). It can be seen as a time waster, meaningless, and just down-right boring. Defeat this thought by just getting up and moving. You don’t require a destination, nor do you need much else other than the shoes and the clothes on your back. (If you don’t have that go naked. Actually, scratch that….lotta pervs out there).

Anyway,

Walking provides an escape from distraction and a separation from embedded laziness. Give yourself anywhere from fifteen minutes to a full hour — to simply leave your home and wander about for a bit. This provides an arena for your action and thoughts to reach solidarity.

As your ideas wander aimlessly so do you. You’ll find that by doing this, you exhaust the momentum of your inner procrastinator. Upon returning home with a clear mind — go directly to the task at hand. With your thoughts freed– focus becomes clear and unwavering.

 

Why’s V. Why Not’s (Pros V. Cons/ Ups V. Downs/ Trump V. Sanity)

Should you not have the time to go for a walk or indulge in internal ultimatums, a simple list of why’s and why not’s can be a quick and easy way to sort through the muddled procrastinative mind. This list never has to be put into action.

Instead, what writing this list down does is force your muddled mind to focus. Assuming that your obligation is important, the “why’s” section of your list will undoubtedly be longer than the “why not’s” (I think that’s right). In either case, fold that list in half and concentrate on the why’s. Use this as motivation to handle your task, as well as a catalyst of focus –should your diluting thoughts return.

 

Create a Reward (Mafia Mentality)

Human beings are complex, yet simple. If you look at anyone around you and honestly at yourself, you’ll find that there are few better functioning systems than the ones built on reward. This never has to be anything monumental –as a matter of fact– it may even work better if the reward is something small and immediate.

Treat yourself to a drink (BOURBON!), purchase something that you can’t justify buying otherwise (MORE BOURBON!!), or create a checklist and bask in the jubilance of crossing it off bit by bit (AND THEN DRINK BOURBON!!!).

Little things can drive motivation. Considering that your procrastination often goes unrewarded or even punished–a small token of achievement to work toward can easily silence the beast of aimless mental wandering.

#Bourbon

 

Accountability (Snitch on Yourself)

Considering none of the aforementioned advice works, an easy fail-safe method to annihilate procrastination is simply adding accountability. Instead of sitting around and staring at the ceiling, phone a friend or family member close to you, and explain the situation to them. Inform them of the importance of the task at hand, and ask them to hold you accountable for its’ incompletion.

Keep in mind, the friend or family member never really has to do much. The instant that the correspondence is over –the gravity of your responsibility will feel as if it’s been multiplied ten-fold. In essence, you’d be tapping into the human condition known as “fight or flight”. This added pressure will drive ambition, enhance focus, and provide momentum. Though seemingly severe, it’s a great way to kick yourself into high gear.  

 

Procrastination can seem like an unbeatable wall on the path to achieving your goals. Though many attempt to avoid it by staying habitually active–the truth of the matter is– that sometimes the best method is simply to confront it head-on. With the help of these steps, procrastination will become a pothole on the road to success.

***

See, I told you that I had something cool. OH! And also this…

 

<<<<<<<<<<———–MISCELLANEOUS ARROWS———->>>>>>>>>>>>

 

YEAH!!!!!!! That’s a coming folks!!!  I’ll keep you posted as I get updates. Until then–

 

Beat Your Tuesday Like it Stole Something,

–Antwan Crump.