Drinking Coffee, Huffing Fumes

Dear World

Please Kill Me,

Greetings and Happy Thursday to all of your poetically placed posteriors (I didn’t mean that as dirty as it came out). How the hell are you? Should the moons of Uranus….(oh come on, even you’re better than that).

“What…No, I’m not. But fine…” {Insert butt joke here}.


Thanks in advance for all of you who liked yesterday’s post. I know that I’ve been kind of M.I.A– so it was nice to know that there’s someone out there listening (to the things that I scream in the dark void that is the internet). But, I’m moving on from yesterday…

*grabs calendar*

*stares at the date*


*starts fire*

No seriously, I’m over it. The real question is: how could I not be? Stalled or not, facts are facts and I’ve still got trillions of letters worth of literary jargon to shart out, before I’m even remotely close to getting off of the proverbial pot. And, with that, some news.

A.) Since my schedule had cleared itself up a bit, I’ve taken it upon myself to dust off some of the material that I’d been working on, (before I got all popular and neglected this here site).


So it’d seemed best to handle my free time with the continuation and improvement (and OH GOD DOES IT NEED IMPROVEMENT #SelfHate #BestHate) of some very promising premises.

That being said, for all of you who are into #Anthologies, be on the lookout for Red Matter: (Another Collection of Things). It’s essentially another deep dive into the annals ( ha ha….#Anal) of the human psyche. (Think, #StephenKing crossed with #BlackMirror.)

So, that should be pretty fun. I hope to be busy again soon (because who doesn’t like money), but I’ll make sure to drop that little chestnut first, (before leaving you like the neglectful father that I strive to be #Kidding #Am I?)

B.) Stay away from wet clowns (Try to un-imagine that. #HaHa #SoapyTheClown).

And finally,

C.) (Pertaining to yesterday’s post–) I realized that I never really gave a solution, (outside of  “toughen the f-ck up”), so let me tell you what I did; if only for the sake of semi-transparency (for what reason, I don’t know. I just feel like we’ve hit that special point in our relationship #HeartEmoji).

Whenever I have a rough day–particularly with my craft– I tend to double down and oppose impulses. Ergo, my mind says “F-CK THIS CRAP!!!! I’M DONE FOREVER!!!!” and my tentative action is to work on a story, submit something somewhere, (*cough* write a blog post *cough*), or any other reaffirming action that I can think of.

I don’t know about all of you, but I know that my mind tends to want to give up easily and run from the things that it doesn’t initially accomplish. After years of banging away at this thing (#Giggidy), I’ve learned that’s actually a pretty standard reaction. The trick, however, is to remind yourself where your center is.

I strip down the excess nonsense and start back at base. Even though I don’t stay there, it’s a good way of sending myself out into the literary trenches with a thicker hide and a better strategy. I’m aware not everyone can/should do that–I’m just telling you what I do. It’s never really fair to pose a question and leave it unresolved. (#OrIsIt?)

So, there you have it. A piece of me, for a piece of you. Do with it as you will.


Those are all of my authorial bullets for today. Keep the above in mind, (or don’t. There’s not going to be a test or anything), and remember, it isn’t what happens to you…It’s how quickly you can get revenge, (I think that’s how that goes).


Smash Your Thursday,

–Antwan Crump.


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