Dear World

Please Kill Me,

Greetings my longing liberators of literature. How goes it? Should you have awakened yet again – from rapturous slumber- then your coffee mugs are filled (and your insides are slowly morphing into pure caffeine concentrate #BeansAPlenty #TheGoodStuff).

Assuming that you’ve already had your daily dose of liquid wake-up – it’s time to join your favorite life coach, (You, a life coach! Oh, dear GOD!!! #HideYoKidz #HideYoWife), for the latest installment of – “things that I’ve dreamt about and now bring to you” – (I’m working on a shorter title).

Anywho,

The Message, (otherwise known as – the basis for all forms of social media. #ButIsAnyoneREALLYSayingAnything?)

*stares off into the sunset*

*bird poops on shoulder*

*searches Youtube for a sad Adele song*

Moving on,

So, I’m not really one for the “Rah-Rah…Listen to the Universe!”, or the “Woo-Woo!!….Feel the energy of the trees!”- or any other kind of- uber spiritual jargon like that, (and yes, that’s exactly how those people sound to me).

Nope, I’m more one for going about my day – with my goals in mind, my priorities somewhat sound, (and a flask or two in my pocket), etc. Simply said – I don’t try to pawn my life off on ominous signs, fortune cookies, or the like. I don’t judge you if you do, (Yes, I do), but it’s just not how I’ve grown accustomed to operating.

“We make our own luck”, and other ambiguous beliefs like that, are pretty much how I view this matrix that we call life.

BUT,

Just because I don’t actively believe in the -“Total vibe of our creator mother earth man..”, (Seriously….if you know someone like that, kick that douche in the nuts) – doesn’t mean that I don’t get a message from time to time. My attentiveness to that message is often doubled down by my own intuition.

I guess it’s more of a compromise than anything else – but I’m a writer- my whole career is built on compromise. What am I supposed to do; make J.K. Rowling my spirit guide? (#MarryMeJ.K. #jk).

The messages that I get usually start, in the form of a subtle suggestion from the universe, (I’ll see or hear something that triggers a random thought).

Then, it becomes a bit harsher, (that something will become prominent or suddenly ever-present).

And, finally, it becomes one of only two options, (Option B, of course, is always me being dragged into doing it -kicking and screaming #FateIsABully).

I don’t like talking about it too much because, honestly – come on. The conversation is debatable at best – even in a room full of minimalist liberals you’ll hear things like “Really!? The universe Bro!? Want some leg bones with your Hippy?”, (also, if you know someone like that – feel free to kick that condescending knob-gobbler in the nuts too).

But, for those of you, who sort of get what I’m talking about, or at least are open to it-

*Though we may be alone a lot of the time, the universe has a way of intervening just when you need it to.*

It may not be good, it may not be bad, but it always tends to point you in the right direction. That is, as long as you’re willing to get The Message.

Alright, boys and girls, that’s about all the tea in the pot for today. I’ve got to go see a Brit about some crumpets, (and possibly the true origin of my last name, #HeirToBritishBiscuitEmpire).

I’ll be back tomorrow, for more words in a font.

Show Tuesday You ROCK!,

-Antwan Crump.