Those “Damned” Outlines

Dear World

Please Kill Me,

Greetings, and happy Monday, my somber sluggers of the written word. How are you? Should the Ides of March choose to exit, as swiftly as they’d come, and gone – then spring is upon us, (and it’s almost time to regret not working out this winter).

With that said, it is, as always a pleasure to have you join me on one of my coffee and mayhem induced rants. Let’s live, learn, and love, (/and squat?) a little together, shall we?

Those “Damned” Outlines, (commonly referred to as- the road that some authors walk- as the others hear “line” and embark on a cocaine-fueled adventure. #CokeLand #HyperDisneyMovie #DownWithPepsi).

Well ladies and gents, after weeks of scouring the recesses of my #RedBull scented home- I am proud to say that I believe I’ve finally found my next novel idea, #TriteButTrue. Despite the excitement therein, I can’t help be recall the bumbling rants of my former self –

“Why didn’t I outline!?”,

“That’s a plot hole you bastard!” ,

“Where is the cream cheese I keep in my sock drawer!?”

– all literary qualms, with literary solutions.

Needless to say, this go around I’ve, (unfortunately), committed myself to at least have a semblance of direction before I strap in, and take off on this literary voyage, (you say that as if you’ll be leaving the house. #SelfHate #BestHate).

My issue with that, (and the primary reason I’m even telling you all this), is that plotting out is not really my style. Say what you will about that (#PleaseDon’t), but for me, half of the fun of writing a story, is taking the ride. If I can scare, shock, exhilarate, confuse, (fondle?), myself – then that means that I can pretty much bet my life savings (-approx $7.13-), that it’ll do the same for the reader.

That being said, I can’t help but remember the moments when I complete a project and have to comb through it with the veracity of a billion horny ants. It’s a time waster, it’s tedious as proctology, (and I’ll just go ahead and say it) if you’re not completely enamored with the prospect of self-editing – it’s can be a major buzzkill for any magic the story may have brought you, (and of course, that can do damage to our “widdle ol’ creative self-esteems.” ).

So, not good, not bad – just another way to go about things. It’s, personally, a positive for me, (because I tend to get frustrated and throw random explosives in the story, to eliminate continuity issues. (Usually while the protagonist screams, “F-CK YEA!”))- so I could probably use the organization.

Today’s EmBOLDen sentence is – *The road less traveled is fun, but sometimes we must take a clear path to get there.*

So, do with that as you may. I’ll be here with an open mind, heart, and wallet, (containing exactly -$5.02- #IBoughtASoda #DownWithPepsi).

I’ll see you all tomorrow for more structured fun, (or, you know…whatever I feel like doing).

Hulk-Smash Your Monday,

-Antwan Crump.


(Photo Courtesy of Acacia Clark)



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