Dear World

Please Kill Me,

Happy weekend my squad of sultry synths “tenderly playing the endless song of hope in the moonlight” (you can use that, I TOTALLY DID NOT steal it from a love song *crosses fingers*). Well, as those of you who enjoy hearing my lovely voice each week have probably realized (dude, like 5 people -stop ego-tripping), I was forced to skip the podcast yet again this week (I am actually sorry about that. #ClownTears). But never fear – everything should be back in top form after the holidays (*prepares for Turkey War 2016*).

Yep boys and girls, I’ve decided that in order not to completely destroy my NaNoWriMo progress (or go all kablooey with the other things that I’ve got going on) , that I’d have to get ahead of it all ( before THEY show up).

*1990’s advertising voice* 

“What this means FOR YOU!”

*points finger at no one*

*acknowledges loneliness*

*curbs enthusiasm* (did you like what I did there?)

(Okay, I’ll stop.) Assuming that most of you will be doing the same pandering to your familial chains as I will – my temporary lightening of posts shouldn’t be too much of a drag. However, I do understand that some of you have gotten used to Sir-Mix(Drinks)-A- Lot, so I’ll be popping in with semi-regularity with some of my classic “know-hows”, “do-whats”, and general buffoonery (albeit to a lesser extent). Besides, I know that there are only two weeks left to NaNoWriMo, and I’d be remiss not to cross the finish line with you.

*drags you by the keyboard*

“You CAN MAKE IT BUBBA!!!!”

And for those of you who just enjoy checking in on my latest ramblings, I’ll be here to provide you with some (especially after Thursday), much-needed relief and giggles as well. For the days that I miss -CHECK OUT THIS PUPPY!

Huh? Nice right? His name’s Q-Tip. (lol, just kidding – I don’t know his name. BECAUSE I STOLE HIM). Alright, I didn’t -but look how happy you are now #smileyface.

Anyway, I’ve got some surprises in store for you guys (gals, anarchists, Vulcans: however you self-identify #equality), so please bare with me -and stay tuned.

Papa’s got to go to work now *grabs briefcase*

Enjoy your weekend,

-Antwan Crump.