Dear World

Please Kill Me,

Aloha (Hello and or goodbye) to you all, my ruefully robust readers of this moment (as all readers are, I suppose. Don’t quote me on that. I’m sure there’s some time lapse scientific theory that proves that wrong. Wow, I’m getting off topic.) I hope you all enjoyed your weekends. And for those lucky devils who had three days off (screw you) and I hope you enjoyed it exactly 24 hours , more than everyone else.

This post is more of an inner questioning thing. I know that some of you come to read me verbally joust my fictional opponents, and I shall come through for you again. Just be aware that this time, the opponent is my own mind. If I didn’t acknowledge that at least once, you’d literally be looking at the manuscript of an unsalvageable psychopath. That being said, I believe I still have a few sober thoughts kicking around in there.

Most of us search/trudge through this life looking for purpose and meaning. Some are lucky to find it early – thus, you get the prodigies and innovators. Some, are born into a trade – a long line of (insert specific thing here), ergo – like it or not- that’s what they do. Other’s find it later. Therein lies a lot of the disappointment this world can bring.

By the time you enter your twenty’s, the pressures of the world increase exponentially. I mean, of course, they’ve always been there, but now you’re entering the age when most people (you think) have had it all figured out. Truth is – most people haven’t, that pressure you feel is essentially a societal safeguard – an alarm to let you know to shit or get off the pot. Now I don’t agree with that method, but I can’t deny it’s effectiveness either.

This is usually the time when your friends find “the love of their life”, they think. (Some are legitimate, but let’s be realistic here. Any permanent decision you make before 30 is basically a farce.) Society won’t help you out here. Everyone is too afraid of becoming that “ne’er do-well” bum. Let me blow your mind for second. Has anyone, ever actually met that guy/girl?

Truly think. Have you met that 35-year-old, no ambition having, burnout, who never did anything right, so they have nothing?  I’m sure you’ve got a person in mind. But how much do you really know about them? Have you ever cared to ask? Or more assuredly, have you just blindly allowed them to be the face of your implanted fear?

We can’t fear those things. More importantly, we shouldn’t fear to ask. Now I know I went on a bit of a tangent but stick with me. For those people in the middle. The ones between lanes and undecided -waiting for their calling- I’m going to give you an honest piece of advice. For you, there is no calling, that can find you. You must find it. (Scared you for a second right, sorry.)

Once you make it to the age of societal pressure, your mind can become closed to voices of the muses. Simply put- stress and fear can be louder, more controlling, and manipulative. It is then that you must go searching, ignore the voices, and ignore the fear. Dig deep within yourself and find the muses that wish to guide you. Nurture them. Trust them.

Admittedly this is the scariest part of it all. That’s why it’s simply an option. A suggestion from one creative to another. I can’t lead you there. No one can. But maintain belief, that when you find your muses and climb that mountain, there will be others there just like you.

Or live the life that’s been lived a million times over. Either way, at least the choice was yours. It’s that choice, we should all be fighting for.

Happy Trail-Eeos (the best part of breakfast),

-Antwan Crump.