Dear World

Please Kill Me,

Hello, all of you mental necrophiliacs. So today I’m dealing with thoughts. Vivid ones apparently. One’s that entice me to embrace better things (Don’t worry, I’ll endure). It’s difficult for most people to handle exposing themselves to the titans and mice of the world (especially now in the age of transparency, where the two are hard to tell apart).

Lately I’ve been stuck in this kind of self created manifestation of my worst fear. That fear being the bubble of artistry. The hell of isolation. The loneliness of the hustle. In reality, it can often seem like these are things that simply come with the package. And honestly most do. But to what extent we experience the downside is entirely up to us, as well as to what great heights we reach by suffering such sacrifice.

All too often people rattle on about how much they’ve had to give up to chase a goal, eat a dream, (slap a farm animal), etc. But with these obvious out of place achievements in our sights, how could we not expect the costs to be equally out of place and unpredictable?

It’s amazing to me when I speak to some of my friends who have, or had goals, and they seem to want to lecture me about the “struggle”. All while they sit on their couch, in their drawers (covered in what I hope is tartar sauce). It’s just odd. Especially when on the other side of that coin; those who have accomplished their goals, or don’t have any (there’s no shame in that) similarly look down on you because you’re not bitching and moaning. How could I? I’m too busy going through it.

It’s like that scene in the movie Hustle and Flow “You use your whole ass!” (Wait!!! No!!!, wrong EVERYTHING!!!) Hold on *googles scene*

Okay, Anthony Anderson goes ” There are talkers, and there are walkers. You see now the talkers they talk a big game, but than at the end, you find out they ain’t shit, because they just been talking. And the walkers, well they just don’t talk much; because they too busy walking”. (PREACH!!!!!!)

Sorry I know this post is all over the place. My minds been a little scattered. But like the title says, they’re just thoughts, get over it.

Also I wrote a new short story for a Chuck Wendig (terribleminds.com) challenge. Check it out here – The Gun of Crow – I’m actually really proud of it.

Anyway, that’s it for now.

Until the racing thoughts become racist ones,

-Antwan Crump.