Dear World  

Please Kill Me, 

I think a lot. No, it’s not always the self-indulgent Cartesian thoughts that proliferate in moments of inertia. Rather, I like to focus on tangible and otherwise productive ideas that I can sink my teeth into, incorporate, and apply as needed. Like rectal ointment for the brain (or #Vaccine). 

(–if that triggered you, get a grip (on a vaccine...#OrTheseBalls#SorryNotSorry)

This can also be referred to as “grounding.” 

I do this because I have to. And it’s always good to ground oneself when floating for too long—away from those thought-ghouls and mind-goblins that wish to consume me while “Monster Mash” blasts. 

As a writer, I could spend all day considering the meaning of life, referencing various theory, then spinning on my spit-roasted thumbs until the tin-foil hat I’m wearing overflows. Again, I must make a conscious effort to ground myself in reality and embrace truth to avoid insanity (…that sounds sexier than I meant it #TLC). 

More of us would do well touching base with our own reality from time to time. (#ThatDidToo #Focus)

This era has seen a surge of unchecked, untamed (supposedly deep) personal thoughts and revelations manifesting as self-righteousness and authoritarian movements–with some so blatantly uninspired and feral that the funk of impoverished thinking strikes long before the avalanche of dingleberries.  

Anyone who’s wandered the path of existentialism knows it leads to greater questions of being and morality than any healthy mind would allow to roam free. Purpose and meaning are the whitewater rapids of thought—dangerous if you haven’t learned how to properly navigate them. Lethal if you refuse to learn. Suicidal when one indulges in the purported ideologies of the apathetic. 

It’s from the latter point that we find the source of a problem. The existential vampires. 

For the average Joe or Jane, the only real reward for becoming an apostle of these ideological-Dracula’s are disconnection, despondence, distrust, and varied levels of depression via anxiety and incomprehension. It makes them unwittingly vulnerable to these predators, who feed on their confirmation bias(es), insecurity, and impressionability. 

These monsters specialize in convincing prey that their approval translates to some kind of social value and security (as it feasts on their logic, rationality, and sense of self-worth). Our once lively and convivial neighbors fall victim to an endless void of cynical self-importance and aggressive delusion that corrode common sense and self-preservation.  

Think of Steve from accounting or Stephanie in inventory suddenly believing they’re Braveheart and Xena (respectively?) –just because some Ivy-league–media-whore with a trust fund convinced them that civil war was a good idea, or that elections are rigged if they don’t win, or “truth” is subjective.  

This kind of thing is how you get sociopaths storming buildings and smearing shit on the walls while howling “FREEDOM!” –instead of being home with their children whispering “I love you,” paying debts, or actively participating in meaningful relationships. Society has widely subjected itself to this kind of poison. The predators are engaged in a feeding frenzy. The audience is their meal. 

We must learn how to ground ourselves, if only to fend off these ghouls and goblins. 

Less of us need to concern ourselves with what lies in the evil lairs and focus on what we can control. We need to remember that we’re more valuable than the clicks on our profile page.

We fight back by embracing the reality of ourselves and learning ways to make things better from the ground up. Otherwise, we’re just piggy-backing on our way to the buffet (…as complicit entrees). 

I’ve seen too many people die on the hills they’ve erected for their superfluous egos. I know more people that would rather die “feeling” right than to ever admit they were wrong. Too many who cling to shallow beliefs that they defensively regurgitate ad-nauseam—hoping to attain some hidden value from aligning themselves with untethered, unchallenged, and often uncaring fiends in designer clothes and blood-stained bibs. 

In lieu of saving themselves, some allow these ghouls to inject them with existential dread that careens without warning and carries them deeper into the abyss—guided by these would-be cult-leaders, who’ve got a multitude of psychological issues all their own (industries, influencers, journalists, pundits, politicians, talk show hosts, and f*cking Joe Rogan–all of whom are presented as modern messiahs who appreciate you … “Oh, SO MUCH! –Now, stick this skewer up your ass and bite on this apple!!” #SendingPositiveVibes #DineWithDemons).  

This leaves us with a society of people struggling to reconcile preferred belief and brutal reality. With neither rightly intact, the vampires swoop in to fatten us up with bullshit value, adulation, and faux-approval/status via (parasocial?) association (#SmashThatLikeButton #Subscribe). 

So how do we ground ourselves to keep from being groomed, consumed, and flushed with soiled toilet paper? 


Embrace the life that’s in your hands. Embrace the future that’s waiting for you to chip in. Remember that simple things like cleaning your home and daring to act on your dreams may be more important than the latest trend or outrage. Go outside. Go on a date. Step away from the drama-ridden fire-starters that threaten to destabilize your perception, devalue your worth, and feast on your submission. READ A F*CKING BOOK!!!  

Check in on YOU before others whine then dine on your ill-defined mind. (I’ll even say it biblically: “Thyself is thine own to neglect!”). 

Yeah, the world’s going to shit. So what? How are you doing? 

Sure, Ben and J. Lo seem happy… And???  
What makes you happy? Where’s your own mood at now-a-days

We can escape the misuse and abuse of our humanity and trust (and subsequent existential dread) by simply remembering to care for ourselves, our loved ones, and our own lives, and our communities. Why? Because we’re fucking worth it (not censoring that one).

Anything that makes you feel your efforts are worthless is wrong. You are enough for YOU. Ground yourself by knowing yourself. Know yourself by embracing your immediate reality. Embrace it honestly. Repeat. Don’t allow the goblins to define you. They’re only as real as you allow.

Yeah, it’s scary. Terrifying even… 

–but it’s better than being Dracula’s bitch.

Until Next Time,

–Antwan Crump

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