Dear World

Please Kill Me,

I’ve reached a conclusion, as of late. For those of you who resort to avoiding the public altogether, this may be a foreign idea. It felt right to warn you in advance (lest I interrupt your blossoming agoraphobia).

For the rest of you, I think it might be time for society (as a whole) to reinstate some rules of engagement. No. This will not be some diatribe about the importance of proper verbiage or things of that nature. Rather, this is a plea for some to speak and others to shut the hell up. Namely, the uninformed, uncaring, uncouth, and literally absent-minded. The douchenozzles (as I lovingly refer to them).

To be clear, I’m not against anyone having an opinion. Nor am I against that individual voicing their opinion. The problem is (and I will state this once) that some people just don’t know or care about the topics they claim to hold strong feelings about. I don’t mind the casual add-on theory or misunderstood statement.

What I mind is when the perpetrators relinquish their bond with reality and misrepresent their ego as confirmation of fact. It doesn’t matter how loud you are. It doesn’t matter how forceful you spew. It doesn’t even matter who you are—relative to the person(s) you’re addressing. If you don’t know, you still won’t know unless you do the research. ANY RESEARCH. Right-Wing, Left-Wing, Bird-Wing, Ding-Dong…ANYTHING.

Let me break it down for the defensive folk (who will inevitably unfollow me)…

1. Watching unvetted conspiracy videos on YouTube doesn’t equate to reading an article or watching the news.

2. Relying on a singular source can give you some talking points. But, alas, you’re still an uninformed douchenozzle.

3. You can be an uninformed douchenozzle, but it should be apparent that you’re an uninformed douchenozzle. (It’s better not to knowingly taint the minds of others with your ignorance).

4. If you’re wrong and don’t acknowledge it within an intelligent conversation, you’re no longer participating in an intelligent conversation. You’re a propagandist, without a cause. Worse still, you remain woefully disconnected from any imperative facts.

5. Facts F*CKING MATTER! Your feelings, not so much. Deal with it.

I would like to point out that this particular rant is sponsored by the last seven or eight conversations that I’ve had, concerning a variety of things. Can this be read (by any of those individuals) and taken as a direct attack? Yes. It ABSOLUTELY could. I welcome the conversation but it’s unlikely to happen. As we’ve established, they don’t read. Hopefully, the detrimental nature of that bad habit is clear to any holdouts.

Now, returning to my point: If we’re going to continue our social evolution, we need to draw a line between the incendiary comments that we make on social media (which I approve of… #IgnoranceIsBliss) and serious dialogue among thoughtful, answer-seeking individuals. There needs to be a space for ideas to be assessed, scrutinized, and discussed via a solid, non-emotional, fact-based method. As far as I can tell, these spaces are dwindling fast.

Conversely…

I’m acutely aware that there are offenders on the other side of this coin. Contrary to their douchenozzle counterparts, these individuals are the ones who prey on the emotions, psychology, and (for lack of a more fitting term) ignorance of others. I passionately refer to these folks as crassholes. These are the people who show up to a knife-fight with a thirty-ton nuke. They’ve obsessively researched a topic and force their victims into intellectual discussions. Yes, they primarily prey on the douchenozzles (they also loathe valid opposition).

In an act of equal sin, the crassholes will level a “normal” discussion with skewed and vaguely attached ideas that sway the conversation toward a topic of their liking. Oftentimes, they’ll bait their prey with obscene overstatements, emotional weak points, and misused facts. This is a way of assigning a position in the argument that twists the outcome to their advantage. The crassholes don’t seek information or some higher form of understanding. Their main goal is to prop themselves up with a discussion that guarantees their victory and implies superiority. (#NotCool).

Let me simplify for anyone rolling their eyes…

1. If you know everything and they know nothing, you’ve forgone the possibility of an intellectually stimulating conversation. What you’ve done is created a dynamic that sees you as the teacher and your unsuspecting participant as the unwilling student. Pointless.

2. If you’re passionate about the discussion but your counterpart isn’t, it’s important to keep your ego in check. Yes, they may be uninformed. They also haven’t asked to be lectured. Clearly, they don’t care enough to know.

3. You can be a crasshole with other crassholes. In ideal circumstances, a conversation with the aforementioned dynamic can do wonders for expanding thought. Otherwise, you’re just bringing people to your rendition of exposition theatre. One-man shows are hard to pull off.

4. Sometimes you’re F*CKING WRONG! Own it.

5. No. Emotions don’t matter to an intellectual discussion. However, without the proper dynamic and mutual understanding, you’re NOT having an intellectual discussion. Therefore, their emotions should be considered or the conversation avoided.

This wasn’t meant to be a deluge of complaints but it was important to me to get these thoughts out of my head—if only to reassess my own frustration. I’d also like to add that anyone could be any of these things no matter their race, gender, ethnicity, IQ, political affiliation—there are offenders from all walks of life. As with any heinous behavior.

Rather, I just hoped to put this idea out into the universe and observe what becomes of it. Maybe it’ll spark a forum for relevant discussion. Maybe it’ll be hated. Maybe it’ll go unseen. Whatever. The point was to have an intellectual discussion about how we can have better intellectual discussions.

Someone had to try, right?

Until Next Time,

Antwan Crump

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Bedlam: A Collection of Things Now Available on Google Books.