Dear World
Please Kill Me,
Hello again, (or for the very first time), my curiously inquisitive creators. I hope that you’re all doing well (if not, then I hope that you’re at least doing better than your enemies #TeamWriter). Well, we’ve done it, gang. We’ve made it to the middle of the week and (barring any Trump-related feat of chaos) we shall soon see a close to (the dumpster fire of a year that was) 2016.
With the coming end of the year, I’ve decided to take these last few days to reflect. (About your growing drinking problem?) No, I took some time to think about where I’m going, where I’ve been, and where I would like to be -(seriously, though, his drinking is out of control). It was a bit transcendent.
However, unlike the other times that I’d meditated – this dive seemed to have a singular purpose. Instead of forcing my mind to chase what I thought I needed, I just allowed it to sit me down – and tell me what I actually wanted- or better yet, what I will have. I’ve made peace with it, (thus the drinking) and I’ve decided that some of you guys may find it useful as well. If I may –
Promise of Grandeur (otherwise known as – the reason that ANYONE marries a Kardashian).
We’re artists, period. Though most of you have probably swallowed that pill – it’s important that I start there. All too often we get lost in the fantasies of “what may be”. We get lost in the grandiosity of the “best case scenario”, we daydream about what our lives will be like once we’ve “hit the big time”. There’s no sin in that, we’re all guilty of it (I often fantasize about shooting arrows at anyone that uses the word literally too much. LITERALLY!!)- we’re dreamers, it’s what we do. But we have to remember to keep these fantasies in line with reality -and above all- that it’s NOT about the perks.
*stares as you all give me the middle finger*
Honestly, though some of us may be lucky enough to break through into the mainstream or even find some moderate success – the fact of the matter is- that some may not (you kind of have to learn to be okay with that). It’s in that fact that you have to remember why we write. It’s not for money, nor fame, or sex (even though all three of those are awesome) – it’s about creating something -that only we can- that moves people, creates feelings, changes lives, and gives birth to thought. We don’t do this for the promise of grandeur – we are the grandeur.
We are the prize sought by the lost rebel, we are the damsel in distress, we are the knight in shining armor, we are the question, and above all else -we’re the answer. As artists, creators, writers, (however you choose to define it) – we are the voice of the unheard, and seeds of change and progress, it’s our duty to accept that. We relay that importance in every letter, every sentence, and every punctuation. We deliver anything and everything – we are the grandeur that we seek (that EVERYONE seeks). Thus, we daydream and fantasize, because our perfect world doesn’t need to be chased -it already exists within us.
So, even though it’s a few days early, and some of you are too busy wrapping gifts and partying to think of much else (other than a fat bearded man breaking into your home) – promise that at some point – you’ll take a minute to realize how truly great you are. Stop chasing the promise of grandeur, and instead -this new year- embrace the greatness that you already have. Then, do what you do best – and share it with the world.
Besides -win or lose- when it’s all said and done, you’ve still got next year.
Now go dance like no one’s watching,
*watches you*
-Antwan Crump.