Dear World

Please Kill Me,

Salutations my time obsessed- future victims of a rising life expectancy. It’s finally that time ladies and gents. Ya GOD DAMN right! Friday! Let’s all do drugs and make bad decisions! WOOOO!!!! Okay, I’ll have to catch up to you – as always- this particular writer is career focused. That’s right. It was hard to accept it, but with most of the summer gone – and the facts tallied – I literally care more about creating a vast and quality body of work. *stares at a bottle of lotion*. Also, I may have been single for too long.

But that’s not what we’re here to talk about. Nope. I wanted to discuss the minutes. The time you put into your craft and the time you don’t. Are you one of those creatives who never seem to have the time to actually create, (i.e. a hobbyist in denial). Maybe you’re the kind of guy/girl/thing(/whatever else is politically correct. I can’t keep up with all the deviations. Can we all just go back to being people? )

In any case, I’m sure that whatever excuse that you’ve come up with for not being able to write, essentially comes down to the object of time. Now, I’m the last person to sit here and tell you to put your life on a schedule (you should, though I’m still totally fighting that system – but from what I’ve seen it works). However, I do have a suggestion that may assist your understanding of what your day truly consists of.

Instead of simply keeping track of times when you are busy and/or preoccupied- I challenge you to record the times that you are not. (And don’t cheat. Let at least one day pass where you are forced to deal with the excruciating pain of knowingly living in a wasted moment -*hillbilly voice*  “Maybe that’ll learn ya’.”)

In all honesty, this will give you a more valid reference point, for those times when you “foresee” days into the future, and block that opportunity off with the most useless of activities. I mean come on, Netflix binge – aren’t we tryna move mountains here? Meanwhile, you’re watching Kevin Spacey be president, (and that chick from 7th Heaven, getting finger banged……)

*Sidenote- Okay, that does sound PRETTY FREAKING AWESOME. And I’m guilty of letting the internet burn down my day too. But this is why I’m asking you to observe your down time. Once you do this, you can reallocate your goals to fit within this open area. There will eventually be time to watch Piper gradually become irrelevant. #OrangeistheNewBlack.

So, watch your time, if for no other reason than that, like anything else in life – the first step in conquering it, is acknowledging it’s existence. Once you’ve done that, you’ll have a first class ticket out of Procrastination Palace (I mean, at some point).

That’s it for today you ass-hats. I’ll probably do a short story or something to hold you over for the weekend. Until then be safe, and as always – you know that you’re too high, when you consider eating rectally (you may also need to see a therapist). Remember that, it might be important.

See ya’ Monday,

-Antwan Crump.