Dear World

Please Kill Me,

Welcome back my sullen acolytes, swiftly drifting aside the moonlight. (I’m not even sure how that happen, pretty damn classy if I do say so myself.) So, Schedule – some need it to function, some use it to be productive, some just love the ritual, while others (like myself) HATE IT WITH THE BLEEDING PASSION OF A VAMPIRIC CRUCIFIXION! Ahem, sorry. I meant to say, some aren’t fond of it.

I’ll be honest (as I’ve said plenty of times on here), I’m a bit of a free bird. What I create is what I create. When it gets done, then it will be with the integrity of the moment that had spawned it (puffs out chest, puts fists to hips). Yea, that’s all good and well -until about 22.

Up until 22 the whole free bird thing kinda works. You can dip into different things, explore passions, curiosities, strengths, weaknesses, etc. However, once out of school we face the sad fact, that for the first time, life’s off schedule.

Yes kids, that’s right. Unbeknownst to us (prior to the age of reason) we are indoctrinated and accustomed to schedules (rituals if you will). Regardless of your perceived “freedom” you’re still under the ruling thumb of an authority, that acts as a sort of bumper, for your life. You never really get off track, though it may appear so at times.

Then comes adulthood. With little warning the bumpers recede back to the depths from which they came. We’re left to parent and govern ourselves. This, is where I found out that the “free-bird” was undoubtedly the caged one. As I put it then “OH FUCK!”

But, time goes on (*Bono voice*) with or without you (sorry I had to). So we need structure, and in doing so we must utilize, the dreaded schedule.

Schedules suck. But they are efficient. I had toiled about writing a book for years. I wrote here and there, but nothing struck me as particularly worth it. Besides to constant “stop and go” killed any momentum. That combined with work and excuses, made Antwan a dull boy. So I did my research, and found a schedule that I HATED, but within a week I had a chapter of my novel done. I couldn’t argue with the result. (That damned free-bird spirit). Point being, try it before you knock it. Most things that are good for us suck a bag of donkey genitalia.

This kind of turned into a testimonial (my bad) , I’ll wrap it up. Schedules are a shitty, yet essential part of life. No matter who you are, it’s important to know, that life isn’t a dart board that you can just take random throws at. Additionally, it takes much more, than just thinking “bulls-eye”.

Now I’m not going to give you the whole “practice and labor” speech (been there, done that). But I will say, to make time for your craft. Utilize a schedule – it will keep your life in balance, and your progress consistent.

Yes, it does make you feel like a robot, but whatever- cost of doing business. (You’re not one….I hope.)

Beep Boop Beep,

-Antwan Crump


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