Dear World

Please Kill Me,

Greetings and happy, (does it really matter what day it is anymore?) Wednesday, my tireless typers of the third dimension, (that sounds like something that came out of a menage a trois between Lovecraft and Misery) — how the hell are ya?

Should you have sacrificed the forbidden lamb and eaten the (more) forbidden fruit, then your bellies are full and you’re ready for a little tea time with your favorite -though as of late absent- sociopath, (… so we’re just gonna’ ignore the lamb corpse?).

Anyway,

(Ok, I guess so–)

As any of you who’ve grown obsessed with me have probably gathered, I’m still quite busy. It’s the good kind of busy, but unfortunately, it’s managed to stagger its’ way into many of my other affairs. Because I’m a constant thinker, (and likely an undiagnosed sufferer of ADHD), this got me pondering about alternates, (#SweetSegue #RealityDeterred).

Now, don’t get turned off by the -clearly ambiguous- nature of the topic. I don’t mean it in any kind of weird Sci-Fi way (#ThatComesLater), but rather in a sense of the things that are still possible for me to become and things that -through action- I’ve erased from the veritable whiteboard that is my life, (#OrAllOurLivesForThatMatter #Don’tDrakeAndDrive).

Essentially, it’s a method of putting things into perspective at a distance (sans the self-reflection. I warn again #Don’tDrakeAndDrive).

While I sit back in all of the mountainous glory that is my increasingly full slate of writerly things to do — at times I wonder if any of it was worth it, (referring obviously to: my move across the country and quitting my 9-5 to pursue a writing career in honest), and if there is a version of me that did it better, or worse, or just flat-out different.

Believe it or not, those are the thoughts that keep me up at night, (along with the Trump-bunker that I’ve been working on since November #OneGun #Single-Bullet). 

All jokes aside, on days when it seems like I can’t get through it; I wonder if I’ve made the right decision. This – as I mentioned- makes me think of the alternate me’s (that similarly plague their dimensions with blog-posts that politely ask the world for… well you know -you’ve read it #Jokes?).

Rather than trouble you with the details of the various versions of myself that I concoct, (especially the one where I’m a secret-agent salsa barista, #Dreams) — I’ll just give you the cliff notes of important stuff.

*There is -ultimately- only now*

It’s a tough concept to live in perpetuity with; but regardless of your grasp on it, it rings true. There really isn’t a point in torturing yourself with what you’ve become. Not that the thoughts can’t be inspiring, but -simply put, you should be more focused on who you’ll be later.

Life is fluid, people are fluid, (urine’s a fluid?). It can be a waste of time worrying about past decisions, if only, for the reason that you still have decisions to make right now. Don’t stress yourself with whether you could have gone one way or the other, but rather, figure out where you’re going now.

And just to double down on that idea, learn to become obsessed with every new decision that you face. Obsess, make your choice, then obsess over the next thing. The past is there for a reason, and that —de facto– makes the future there for one as well.

*Don’t stress the building that burned; stress the burning building you’re in.*

It may seem a little hyperbolic, but it’s a way of thinking that can effectively cut out the b-llsh!t and get you chugging along on the right path.

Then again, that’s just my opinion, (and I’m the same guy that sacrificed a lamb at the beginning of this post –so take it all with a grain of salt. #MmmLambSalt).

Needless to say, it’s worth a try. At worst, it’ll keep you present.

Alright Goys and Birls, that’s all the rambling that I’ve got for today. I hope that it helped someone (feel free to let me know #IHungerForAffection), if not, then I hope that it was at least good for a laugh or two. I’ll be back at some point before the robots conquer us, for more posts that vaguely have to do with the title. Until then,

Death-Grip Your Wednesday,

-Antwan Crump.