Dear World

Please Kill Me,

Greetings my esoterically endeared elites. How goes the post-Monday countdown to the weekend? Regardless of how it’s been suiting you, just be glad that -at some point -it will come to an end.

*dramatic music*

“Or will it?” (Of course it will you idiot, now get on with the blah, blah, blah).

Endings, commonly referred to as —– (what that last sentence was lacking).

As writers, we deal with common problems. No matter your : genre, tone, structure, (or level of drug use) – this will remain true throughout your writing career. Of the most tiring and fearsome similarities that we share -writing a satisfying ending is undoubtedly in a league of its’ own, (right on top of Mount Whatthefuck) -unless you’re the Coen brothers, and just like screwing with people’s heads.

Now, (obviously) an ending can be successfully achieved in a variety of ways. The hero can win (lame), the villain can win (yawn), or the story in question can come to an abrupt halt -and pick back up with a dancing monkey -who’s cooking bacon for some reason,(Yes! That’s the one! By the way, I’m a Coen brothers fan). No matter your preference, how the story ends will depend solely on you – that’s the beauty of it being your story.

But, despite the freedom of choice in how your work should end, there are several things that you should consider:

1.) Know your Audience – I know- I harp on this time and time again – but it’s worth demonstrably repeating. Know thine audience. It’s important to know who’s reading what you write -because that can dictate the kind of ending that should be written.

Yes, of course, you can switch it up and be shocking – but just be aware that this should be done in the context of your story – i.e: If you’re writing a sci-fi -then end sci-fi, if you’re writing a rom-com -then end rom-com, (and if you’re writing an L Ron Hubbard book – I’m assuming you’ll steal that monkey bacon scene. #CuckooClock).

The point is that, if you know the audience that you’re attracting, you should write to suit their needs, (by no means are you restricted, but the best chance of good reviews, shares, and returns – comes with establishing your understanding of their literary diet). It’s because of this, that it’s always a good idea to read and write expansively – this improves your ability to fit your words into the language of your readers, while simultaneously keeping the door open for innovation.

Once you’ve become an established writer, then you can begin to screw around with literary traditions (because at that point, your audience will be built in, and they will be more than happy to go along for the ride). Until then, your best bet is stretching your authorial muscles in a realm that they can understand. “Every great leader was once a great follower”, and all that jazz.

However, if your the type of writer (Haha, do you see what I did there?)  that hates the idea of “rules” (let’s face it, we all do) – a great workaround to “break in”, is building a fanbase -outside of the novel realm- through, uh…I don’t know, BLOGS! (Okay, that was mean, but you get what I’m saying.)

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[Edit] Hey everyone, it’s me here. Yes, real me -this isn’t one of my AWESOME puns. This post was only meant to be a few hundred words of my daily ramblings – it accidently turned into a few thousand words of solid advice (*Baby Voice*, ” I Sorwy”). 

Because of that, (and the fact that it’s a Tuesday, and most of you probably don’t have time for a novella of my pretentious rantings), I’ve decided to break it up into a few posts with the headline Endings, (I’ll number them to lessen confusion). I hope you guys follow along with me this week and enjoy –Endings 2: Screw Their Feelings –tomorrow.

See you there,

-Antwan Crump.